1dering at stars

Ayra- thanks for the comment! You're right about the line being wordy, I noticed that too but I couldn't find a better way to get across what i wanted to ...

Plight.

Fear is a charcoal bird Locked in an open cage Hope is more than a whispered word It is a sage Pride is not power But the blade that takes ...

This is simply spectacular. I love how you reference so many different things... Rome... Indian mythology... quotes from the Bible.... did you even mention King Arthur once?... Greek myth.... The ...

I actually like the broken rhythm of this poem. The only things I would change are: 1. As Via said, take away the periods after yet and but. 2. Un-capitalize ...

Sorry, one more thing I noticed... So far the title doesn't seem to fit. If its the title of the whole story, then thats OK, but if its just the ...

This is a good beginning, I like the idea and it kept my attention. But it felt like everything happened too fast. You just told us everything that happened, without ...

Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Sonja. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions, or need help with anything, (although I am still rather new myself) I ...

dry

Thank you for your kind/helpful comments everyone.

war

Hi! Nice to "meet" you! I used to play piano, and now play violin. I don't understand anything about soccer though... or any other sports for that matter... Well, looking ...

I really liked this. The only thing I can find is that the rhythm is a little awkward in some parts, I'm not really sure why, sorry I can't be ...

Wow, I really like this! I think your rhyming works really well, I especially love the last two stanzas. It has a great feeling and message to it. The only ...

I like the rhythm of this and I can tell its really beautiful. My favorite was the last line. The only problem is, I'm not sure if I really understand ...